Tuesday, 31 May 2011

karma

thats why im here





this never ending hurt

the heart ache

self absorbed bullshit


the hauntings


memories

i dont need associations


enough makes me think of you, feel your saddnes


the aches are the worst


my back is crumbling


carrying all this shit i cant let go


beating myself up daily


the days are ongoing


the crying annoys me


i need distractions, but they dont work



i need head space but nowhere to clear



i pass my father as though a stranger


anticipate the arrival of my mother



smash bottles



see the way timmy looks at me, i dont deserve it



long for you


regrets



i was close


i know u dont believe me



i wouldnt either



those dark nights





you didnt deserve those




thank you for the paranoia




i almost wish i hadnt met you



to not be with you is too much


as much as i can understand




your eyes







embedded in my mind




the way you'd look at me




i almost wish i hadnt met you




this is helll














i almost wish i had'nt met you




crying again



the meltdowns are becoming worse and more frequeent



i dread the big one



these small ones are hard enough to deal with



waiting











i dont even know what for or why













nothing







the big one is coming soon, i can feel it the way you can see a storm brewing







its terrifying











15 days








scared as i have never been before

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