thats why im here
this never ending hurt
the heart ache
self absorbed bullshit
the hauntings
memories
i dont need associations
enough makes me think of you, feel your saddnes
the aches are the worst
my back is crumbling
carrying all this shit i cant let go
beating myself up daily
the days are ongoing
the crying annoys me
i need distractions, but they dont work
i need head space but nowhere to clear
i pass my father as though a stranger
anticipate the arrival of my mother
smash bottles
see the way timmy looks at me, i dont deserve it
long for you
regrets
i was close
i know u dont believe me
i wouldnt either
those dark nights
you didnt deserve those
thank you for the paranoia
i almost wish i hadnt met you
to not be with you is too much
as much as i can understand
your eyes
embedded in my mind
the way you'd look at me
i almost wish i hadnt met you
this is helll
i almost wish i had'nt met you
crying again
the meltdowns are becoming worse and more frequeent
i dread the big one
these small ones are hard enough to deal with
waiting
i dont even know what for or why
nothing
the big one is coming soon, i can feel it the way you can see a storm brewing
its terrifying
15 days
scared as i have never been before
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