goood day despite holding back the flooods


savanake park, spray jams

embedded skulls and grounded teeth, notice i lost the crucifix from my rosary chain



kinda fitting really


doughnuts


smokes


talks



we shoved into the car to lechlade


picked up chips


my thoughts were missing you all day


silence as you all spoke

swan invasion


beautiful jerks



spoke with sarah n cloudy n luke n charlie when i could



ive been welcommed into the family



adopt me dudes!





i need caring for, these next times loook uncertain





slept under the sun



"the phlem of a wasp"




wrestling


laughter



held back tears


i am missing you too much but i burn it down into a numb pit




ice cream was craved, picked up and driven back


i paced yer landing pad, you noticed and rubbed my hed n neared a hug as i backed away and knew those gates would open



i didnt wanna freak out yer kids



i rested and sunk into the sofa,



candles were lit


charlie closed curtains n said i needed to relax


we drew exquiste corpses



finally collaborated


i found yer copy of "the book of disquiet" after the bath times of luke n charlie


i read sections that neeeded


i willl pik this up before i burn

ive been tracing it for well over 5 years


fernandoa pessoa knew the deal


probably spelt wrong



have always wanted to read it sooo fukkkin much



it holds something greater then can be comprehended in our better days


we know very litttl of our nature


as far as im concerned we know shit of our selves



we have the capacity of limitlessness, but we are restricted by silent weapons



read will coooper


it will terrify


as well as open yer mind, u haVE TO BEAK PAST THAT POINT!!!!







we melted


i walked back to this


return




of guilt trappings, shit







undone












falling into darknesss




and i think of you


i think of you and know






i miss you to the point that this gi is all that holds me in that city, indo not ever wanna have to walk into yer haus again


id rather cease




that cat fuks me offf


male cats are jerks


males of any kind ARE




i ju wanna focus on babysitting, n cheltenham visit

maybe london


i hate that place



i dread my 30th





if u ost u r gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



i dont advertise for a fukkkin reaason!!!!!


existance equates shit




whatever you tll me and you


you are it



















it suks shit



x

DRUNK GERMANIC TEXT FROM BABY BRO

"joey, please dont be sorry for anything. i realised so much about life (as cheesy as itmay sound) when you were over..i have a bit of a hard time processingstuff you dont remember..but you will always be in my heartuntil i die. i love youdude. one day, i willput you out on vinyl maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan"



the fukkin fone wont let me call you future boy!


i want to be saturated by you 4!!!!!


taLKIN to sindre was good he better have huugged you all from me


emailing is a bit shit, tones are needed!!!

really in need of sleeping with someone goood


not meant in the way of sleaze




need holding as i sahke n space led down

its getting worse by the days



i need a cloud from monkey to rest within eternally

calll me111



i neeed that calling!

these "parents" arent right in the least




wanna have it out with them



with my mouth or a knife

she was my fukkkkin fiance u prikkk


i was savin for that as a surprise!!!!!!



(the fukkkin wedding)







dikkkk

i wish i was a dog or something not human



we r to overly complex



it suks and drains



u dont know who claims to be a friend is and isnt


to be raw again would be goood





wild.boundlesss and without inhibitions!!!!

i stare at those masks and sleep with a knife

sat by the chimp tree


3 homeless hearts


some kids throwng briks at swans


stat was about to yel at them before they stopped



noble guy despite his fear of birds



paul minus moustache looks wrong



a bar with water



talk of anhialtion



talk of the traps




talk of the down fall in this town



it sounds emo bull





live here



grow here
#


time slows down



you will seee






awake in pisss







awake to void and panic








awake to unknown blindednesss


i dont need yer concern





my fate is sealed sooon enough




do with that what you willl






the mouse glows all aquatic






the eye shadow infects eyes



gas out my ass






i mis claude n the hed bumps



timmmy follows me



he is lost


he follows everywhere



i hope she dont fukk u up as bad as us or them




the hinges drag



bak taped together





lies brew





stats tomo









get tattoos



"fuk forever"









lies reside and draw out into infinite shit









smash teeth


smash mother and father



smash sister






i neeed lone time in a mountain and a cave, a hole to shit/vomit/piss in



google fails me

slogan for a teee

" if your gunna kill humans, you may as well wipe us all out"


the 3 of us laughed to the truth




we waste far too much with indulgence and shit and negAting assholes



#

fuk this chicken town



fuk the emotional family baggage


my mother wants me tpo split so she can get laid



FUKKKKKKKK YOOOOUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ENJOY HIM!!!!! YER WORRIES CONDESCEND AND PATRONISE!!!!

eating livers!

picked up that teee today


"live wild, die free"

misssing ladddy alot!

we will seee

i dont know u anymore


i hate it


this


i dont


and dont


and dont



tears will spill, guitars will burn



cats willl scratch


nothing





yeh

it becomes a grudge and sounds through our heart. And it turns into fear. It is our heart.

"thats quite a kick in the balls"



u said it

plan

ill most likely lose that scrap of paper jammed in these screwed jeans, n seeing im obsessed with this fukkkin blog it can rest here


deep breath, here goes


2nd week july, jam like mother fukkkers for ztoys and screaming tshirtyt £100

manchester end july record with joincey

return for 5th gig

supernormal apatt orchestra and hassle skull flower

dikk

austria september stay sober record like fukkkerts, drag artem over, the noise trinity


talk to shillla


worried


return to leeds play show thru luke/rhid, maybe bradford for some fanboy vibes



SCOTLAND

look for room, draG bridget over to play a SHOW thru sam



totnes/plymouth again for womb shows



write to ozzy for my videos soooooon!!!!



IT IS TIME FOR VHS ALBUM


the dusat has settled to long on that one

u get tired and tired and tired of draggging this shit around






it weighs heavy



i anticipate tomo





all of it









fuk off and die

lets climb that hill


go to the museum, the gallery, i save the lawns for sacred shit :/




gate gate gate



the wisher table is something else



smokey bacon streaks




3rd pair of shades




tell the chuggers to get fukked




listen to tobys grime loopps




fade fade fade


i married chris



claudes tongue color satisfies me

he is elegant!!!




awake



die





heart pains



dik wad








i think of u alot



this is new



didnt expect this shit









ahh fukkk


"my heart is a ghetto, my mind is a swamp"




pleasure







pleasure




pleasure









pleasure avalanche





pleasure avalnche




here it comes, here it comes here it comes






that song is toooooooo goooood



despite the avalanche and death/destruction

piss is universal




my husband/wife liked this

i want to see you



i do u no harm



i jus want peace#


i would like ton seee you




show u this place







show u the calm within the storm








tracror consumes






toooooo many assholes





i struggle to delete u guys fuk

vluba and gate are the way

i do not know what this willll gain




i want to seee u and TALK



lies emerge


protect from inflicting shit



claude looks goood



i can hear those words




be careful is all i will say2fag goth bullshit abuse



i wish i was a cat or a dog, or someone other then human













i hope u see me despiten that meltown at the round about and that



forever means nothing



lies pursue







i wanna hear neubautren



i wanna be held by you





this hell rises



indulgence kills



i will play



i mnisss u soo mucxh




i dont want to hurt u


i feel the lips burn and the eye shadow stank



i want u to nvisit, just so u see thelawns, jus o u feel it, just blind, dumbn deaf


































findit if u will











u lie


1de
u llie




u lie




find me



xxxxxx



deth is a beginning

i wil behave, i had abreakdown of somekind today, i juis wannna smile with u n seee the picssso etchings with u

those lingering words

" destruction is not negative



you must destroy



in order to create"

yer okay despite this bullshit





bullshit



repetition



ashtray jeans





burns on the face




semen stained shit drawers




bright orange tongued cat stretched, warm on lap




torn betweeen production and destruction



total fukkking chaos





in need of that manifesto






chaos is important

spewing black



black black hole


hole whole whore



black



tar like




thick heavy sticky core







sinkin into oblivion

the first

these fanboy crushes are pissing me off!!!





though it would be cool to jam with you



its all about the fukkking music



far out!!!

these murderous/suicidal dreams are getting too fukkking much


too many assholes spewing shit


pass my father again


head down


steal blu tac


those guns cost too much, i dont need that fixation, theres enough of those



enough of enough

awaiting

again


again



fuk knows what for



think i'll walk over to the gunshop

i dont buy it


the things you tell me/dont tell me



cannot breakout of this clouded state



too terrified to do so



you are my forever


whatever that will consist of in the coming times

" center is lost






the center is now lost"

" as soon as you remove a person from their background


and parents....


you dont have much left"

its sad to see her...

....her casual behavior bewilders me


- yeh she was weird like that at the gig


....i guess she's moving on n im left pikkin up the pieces.......HA!

"time and space

try not to analse it too much

analyse

anal lies"

missing my twin

dont trust any you



if could jus grab my shit n run i could, but gotta jam thru this fukkin maddnes, and the lies you all "protect me from"






neeeed the coast







neeed the dope factory, dfont need convieniant conversations





fukk that

sicked of june

these dreams are too much


coastal


night



you were walking blind in just your panties


you were cruel of the things you said to me



you were lost


for some perverse reason i slipped your panties off



naked


you kept shifting form




zombies appeared



i covered you with my hoody



guided you to your mothers home


you really wanted to be there





with her


you were in a desperate and confused state





then


i




awoke



frantic



dry



disorientated and upset

the root has dawned

clearly


so fukking clearly


have grasped at it at times


but its real fukking clear




a


reality


ive never had parents


theve glimmered before





the oblivion of theyre lack


of



grabs



and



gone



no wonder so much anger



from us



no stability


no thing of good realness



drift, ache abandonment




there is no way to confront, there were blindfolded attempts that drained through days, that led nowhere




the only thing now is to leave you as the strangers you are




dead ghost children

eyes rolled inwards


unable to see us


death is the only salvation that awaits you both

those woods are calling


that head space will free


i will finally reach goodness



i still cant comprehend this knot



i know the truth, please dont protect me






im leaving








my thoughts









there































yeh




















i will remember you as long as capacity shall



i dont want nor



can


i


begin









to




begin to get over you



I DO NOT WANT TOO












ever



but its so



n so goes on, we we see what unfolds into deaths

TOTAL FUKKKKKING DREAD

everyday


something else


falls



a part

lone

sleeeep












die












awake



































pushit aside





































awaitit

the reality is hittin more



i cant stand it either way




its like an alternate reality



too much is changing




the only thing enjoy is this fukk em all approach.view/atittude





im tired of bullshit, bullshit




bullshit











i know what i need, it will be hard, but fuk it, fuk u, fuk u all

nightmare

could have done without

practicaly rape

i dont like you much as a friend as it is


forcing yerself upon me and this vulnerability


forceful

telling me you want to fuk me


im glad i woke when i did



still cant shake this off



you better have brought back that fukking pedal

jus wanted to see you


no words needed be exchanged



take you to the lawns



my favorite place





feel peace there




no words are needed



just eyes



looks away



half smiles



unknown shit








just wantedto see you







you wouldnt

















just wanted to see you




this is shit!









i just want tosee you somewhere mutual







you wont




i dont blame you





still, i wanna





i hate being this fukkin guy













it suks






















u r my best friend whatever

collapsing before passed out

remove yer glasses

place them on the side


wipe away the vomit streaks


place the cover over you


ignore the manipulated dillussions of the nite


turn of yer lamp


plug in yer fone



you look so broken






you have all yer life





goodnite mum

turd of june

marched to town for "supplies"

tyran tyran in the ears again


a muffled name call over penetrating them vibes

n stats bearded face as i turn around


kicked out of his parents, moving to devon, some insane victorian mansion with hells angels and a holy mineral water/ dope factory hidden within

he had that calming look you get after you smash shit, there was a mutual relief


we decided to head to the park


en route, avoiding the "mutants" was deceided to drop into the former post office now gallery


to see if theres anything decent to see




forgot after we deceidded and thought he was taking me some mad route that made no sense to the park






hungry, no food in the house


smoking to suppress the hunger




shrink that stomach


we were greeted,as i recalled our agreement, to check out whatever show was on,



a friendly faced middle aged man



we looked and read the naked thoughts bare and brave they struck



related

one in particlar stayed within mind



written on a palm


"the longer you wait for the future



the shorter it will be"


it terrified and comforted



another oxymoron





love those





the friendly faced guy began to speak to us, he was a carer at a mental health ward in oxford for kids dealing with anorexia, self harm, depression, the shit we label for the lightworkers that struugle with this shit thats deemed normality





that raw deal returns again





they're 16??!



installations of broken shaving razors,i read the "in patients" interviews responses with the carers as stat n bear face guy rapped




it was a pretty balls out thing to show, considering the tabbooo


especially here






he asked us to write a comment for the kids in the guest book jazz they have in these places, i sent them love


address: n/a



16, they feel so screwed but they see it alreaddy!


fuk man, as we were to leave they emerged from the door elsewhere, we congratulated them and thanked! they seemed awkward and in head lights, we knew was time to leave, showing yer self naked is fukkkin tuff, let alone to strangers!



we headed to the park



absorbed the rays



we vented




we vented of those frustrations we couldnt in those younger days clouded with pot, and broken homes we escaped and bonded over unspoken


u asked me what happened, i answered honest


i asked you


you did also,



you drew, i smoked



2 hours of humble company


conversed when was felt, enjoying the company when not



then we split, we did the lock of hands, you headed for yer ride



myself for the supplies, then those things that i needed passing on from a holy friend to ..........


when stated holy, i do not intend for religious conetations






just a good friend i consider beyond so much, and one of the very few i can truly truly fukkin trust, as to whether he does, we'll see



what happens happens



first day without a meltdown












just a panic to escape

loop

i never liked wearing rings

but i liked wearing yours

you really ought to write a tourist guide

you nailed it again

"berlin is like heroin, its cheap, it gets you fucked, you think you're in heaven, and then when you leave you miss and crave it..... the comedown fades and through time and clarity you realise it really wasnt so great"

was good to see you and keep company

gave my mind somethings to think about, about our being


to talk so openly i did not expect, but realised real at the same time

our paths crossed ten years ago or so


but as you said we werent who we are now, we werent as developed

you a mouthy asshole as you stated (you werent) my self faded, ghostlike


so many amazing stories


i hope you do rob that bank as friendly as you can


we spoke naked


of breakdowns, lost loves, blackouts, suicides, attempted and passed, the lie which is money, how we all are connected, the apathy residing in this country, the lie that is life, freedom, the universe, self hatred, the populace of closed off minds running the tracks, escape, the reason behind total anhialation, the importance of sharing creations as a gift rather a product


you told me of your birth into this world

"the first thing i knew of this world was fireworks and alcohol"

we laughed


the breeze felt good on my legs


watched a punk band sound chek


smoked by the road



and then the downfall, i had to leave


company overwhelms after a point regardless who its with


you understood, and im greatful for the beer, and humanity


i kissed you on the forehead and walked away head slumped with tears forming



i had the urge to scream, but didnt want to scare the kids in the playground




put tyran tyran on in my ears and walked off the beer

a grain

"don't be freaked by my silence,
i am living with no home and i get to a computer when i can
which is not so often
that's why i sent my phone number,
but i understand the not-wanting-to-talk-on-the-fone thing
just need to know you are ok.......
we are all really looking forward to you coming down,
should be fine for you to get here earlier,
i hope to be house-sitting for friends then
so you and me will have a place to stay
it will all be good,
going to get you out in the woods
plant you in some mud and grow a noise-tree
still call me if you feel like it,"

stand by

these rapid changes are too much


too deal with



i feel like i dont know soo many of you anymore




the 8th fills me with so much dread and uncertainty


dunno anything any more

whats that noise?


is it a telephone ringing

i dunno if i prefer u drunk or sober



i catch my only sister of blood tomo



sleep andd die





i wannna talk to u bro




im scared as hell,of these posibilities












yeh

i cant wait to meet you, as much as it scares the shit outta me

the thurst of june

dreamt you came to see me





waking up was pretty shit to say the least

theres nothing left theres nothing right, all that was right is now gon

head fog,


quiet voices




quiet goodnights



i want to hurt u but i cant, thats an assholes way



i fink to much of u






theres a bak up to my plan



i think







i need to leave






i need to see u



its gunna be to weird otherwise




but u got yer shit, n i got shit








fires flame up





i think im gunna puke






fuk a n e






lies grow and grow, u say u dont but I FUKKING KNOW!!!!!!








so dont

wow!

she is fukking beautiful

karma

thats why im here





this never ending hurt

the heart ache

self absorbed bullshit


the hauntings


memories

i dont need associations


enough makes me think of you, feel your saddnes


the aches are the worst


my back is crumbling


carrying all this shit i cant let go


beating myself up daily


the days are ongoing


the crying annoys me


i need distractions, but they dont work



i need head space but nowhere to clear



i pass my father as though a stranger


anticipate the arrival of my mother



smash bottles



see the way timmy looks at me, i dont deserve it



long for you


regrets



i was close


i know u dont believe me



i wouldnt either



those dark nights





you didnt deserve those




thank you for the paranoia




i almost wish i hadnt met you



to not be with you is too much


as much as i can understand




your eyes







embedded in my mind




the way you'd look at me




i almost wish i hadnt met you




this is helll














i almost wish i had'nt met you




crying again



the meltdowns are becoming worse and more frequeent



i dread the big one



these small ones are hard enough to deal with



waiting











i dont even know what for or why













nothing







the big one is coming soon, i can feel it the way you can see a storm brewing







its terrifying











15 days








scared as i have never been before

bloods encrusted, another burn hole, another blank night




my sister leaves today, i want to join her, but can i face that city and the asociations? or do i stay and become consumed with wine?





either way its all fukked






soul, mind, spit, the whole


























hole










fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun





yeh




fuk

chewsday 31st

dreamt got laid



i knew who it was but cant place you




dont know so many people these days



but i know i KNEW you





maybe was you from that lost encounter at the train station in the 18's




we shared a holy moment



those are rare as hell




everything else melted





















i dont get this fukking town













































its haunted concrete







































as much as i need to get laid, i know it will destroy

born into this



















































































this resentment





















































you wrote bak
























































my mind blanks for a response, i know it would be too much
















i see it in them



i want to smash it



burn it and destroy it from existance




noone needs encounter this bull








the







the

















flames reach higher and the blood spills



















dont lie to me anymore, dont fukkin lie

















i want to kill my parents

30/05/2011

day of






...if only knew how to end that



....end



...deluded parents


dillusional past the point of return





a meltdown




razors




carparks





beebee guns fired at me





playing open strings




screaming










blood



razors






screaming



punching








nigh











vacuous silence eats






eat at me






lack


lack



lack


lack



untrust us




no trust


no bond


no nothing




nothing no



no

no

no



i nearly stabbed my mother




i wish her death


her and my father






curse curse curse curse curse







cant relate





relate




late




ate





the space grows between us with the dillusions






cut them off




sleep


wake



leave



aimlessly wonder



consuming memories




self hate annhialates






white ace






annhialates



i see your family and am filled with envy



i wanted to share this with her, between us




at some point



lies spread thick as shit over toasted white sheets







i wanna smash that fukking bottle in his face


in her face



these parents are a lie











lies are the foundation of our nature









lies lie to themselves









u wrote bak





u asked how i was








i dont know what to say









"how was swindon?"







- orgasmic

mother sleeps

she looks like a monster

words that never left me

"im not scared of dying




its life that terrifies me"









they always stayed with your conviction

mind loop

"Feel it closing in,
Feel it closing in,
The fear of whom I call,
Every time I call
I feel it closing in,
I feel it closing in,
Day in, day out,
Day in, day out...

I feel it closing in,
As patterns seem to form.
I feel it cold and warm.
The shadows start to fall.
I feel it closing in,
I feel it closing in,
Day in, day out,
Day in, day out...

I'd have the world around,
To see just whatever happens,
Stood by the door alone,
And then it's fade away,
I see you fade away.
Don't ever fade away.
I need you here today.
Don't ever fade away.
Don't ever fade away..."

sobriety=numbness= fukk!

im in the wrong place with this vulnerability

more fukkd dreams, waking shaking

waking crying


laying holding


waiting, counting down, such a long weeeek


longer tooo go



keep thinking of that bbq nite, waiting up 4 you til i passed out as you snuggled up with another beneath the floor i lay on

















hello hyperventilation























now i have "two planes" in my ears n that lump returns

the name of the song is not important, the words are

they resonate in my mind, heart and being




"I hear the drizzle of the rain
Like a memory it falls
Soft and warm continuing
Tapping on my roof and walls

And from the shelter of my mind
Through the window of my eyes
I gaze beyond the rain-drenched streets
To England where my heart lies

My mind's distracted and diffused
My thoughts are many miles away
They lie with you when you're alseep
And kiss you when you start your day

And a song I was writing is left undone
I don't know why I spend my time
Writing songs I can't believe
With words that tear and strain to rhyme

And so you see I have come to doubt
All that I once held as true
I stand alone without beliefs
The only truth I know is you

And as I watch the drops of rain
Weave their weary paths and die
I know that I am like the rain
There but for the grace of you go I"
















listen to it for me, its in your room in the stack of records by your laundry hamper, the record player behind your beautiful chair piled with clothes



please


x

24/05/2011

the church sent a surge thru me, i left once the door had been opened to see those standing figures

pacing



pacing




saw a girl sat by the college car park wall, there was an urge to join her, but continued with the roam


theres nothing to say to anyone apart from a few, with the silence.




silent respect and respected silence



a robin landed in front of beneath and gazed





so much beauty



such a small and simple life i envy








simplicity is the key




ourselves are far overcomplicated with unnecessities



we waste



our selves and resources





the plan is falling into place



slowly



as much as it frightens me



the time is nearing


3 weeks wait, perhaps






try to see the remaining ones, with the hatred and escapes, and the dreams, of a betterness i hope and dream they reach for them




a time of scratching the hed for the next step





stains are needed


but needed for what?




i miss her mother



she is incredible







time passes into nothing again






will brave the church to light some candles




4 this time instead of 3







a pause of mind





that corrudes into a peace





a peace





a piece of me














has gone

and a father is a man

and a man is a father





"you are my only son"


are the most real words you ever spoke to me as we both wept


we see each other

chapter nothing: the epilogue

.....................................................................................




.....................................................................................

monday 23rd may

the urge to go to church today was strong as we left the park and my father was to meet his ex


he noticed and mentioned there was a funeral taking place


i only noticed the closed doors


and the infants running around in the playground of the school behind as "hometime" set free


it only sunk in now about the funeral

10 hours later




losing people you love is a terrible thing to say the least



sad




lonesome





devistating


i'll go back and light a candle for whoever had passed, one for there family






and one for you

cracks
butterfly clips and slams
cactuses bloom toward the sky
wine is staining my gut
the fairies and doves
the rats and the bugs
those unfinished letters
the grinding

the's

the's

comatosed technology
beaten car doors to a growl
jeans for an ashtray



mysterious break



dolphin calls

peppered salami


say it wider




ample







knotted




its time to feed them



a host



smoke after smoke after smoke


theft


a lost child embodied in a 50 year old



if she was only barren



the peace would be



uh





peaceful


a depressed dog and a frozen woman with wash baskets keep company




a jelly fish lays


the knots tighten


fuk it






theyre all laughing, they all know


they say other wise, but the truth is another deal



life!




life is a raw deal




she burns you and holds you in a gutter


pisss in the sink


piss on the stairs


piss on your soul


its invalid




lies and lies and lies






the depressed dog and the lone lost heart


i hold that superted doll so tight at night


if it were living id worry of preventing him from breathing




stale prawn crackers, incapacitants chant


i contemplate prostitues, but know it would sever my psyche

i grind teeth and steal


the jelly fish remains static



lifeless




still





still





there is nothing left





nothing








but her face and heart


























being lone is fine, jus after knowing and feeling, it kills


the jellyfish moves no more





the lamps blare silently

smoking infinitly






till the hole grows as black as this hurt










fuck you all



and fukk your lies





tomorrow i will

menstrual

i can still taste your blood

21/22/05/2011

you visited my dream last night
we were friends again
you had that spark back in your eye
and that knowing smile
that zest and energy

it was as it was 12 years back, but not back then


now


we were inseperable once again

that summer we shared

the smell of paint, coffee,cigar tobacco

endless talkin, humble silence

washing machine, the wood stove

simon and garfunkel

your studio

you visited me


you were well


i was well


i miss you

that letter is far over due

the recollection of this visitation bummed me out


it felt so real, i thought it had happened in this world


i hope you are getting better

i love you

chest
blood
semen
fire
phatom limb
ache
void
longing
pubes in my wallet
fox ate swan chiks
heart ache
heart pains
hungover
hung up
green excrement
roses
lilies
nicotine stains
cracked teeth

your eyes
burnt in my mind
in that glowing euphoria
sinking
tears
lump in the throat



shrouded


lost in a fog


obscured


lost


phantom limb


extinguished


a bitter lack



void









vacuity




blank



pause



crushed faces



shaking hands



die every nite and re live during re birth



piss stains



hunger



swollen


the cats look on


the dogs roam goofy


the graffitti stares back


bulging


filters stuffed in pockets


void



void



smashed wine bottle in the supermarket check out


the smell weighs heavy


walking


wondering mind


circular



a loop of confused bullshitt


the wondering mind ties into a knot



vampire parents



ghost like infant



scratching at the core




gasping for breath to reach out for some wholesome





life




void



death lingers



text messeges



fire



burntt hair



itchy ass



aching neck, back face, mind, heart, chest cavity, mouth





bitter after taste





lone mate




there is no place to belong, beeeee




be




open fire broken brackets




a mind to mind to be









clouds drift, light saturates


shit fuck sunglasses


old friends



winos



void


angels drown in the engulfing beast



angels swim in the inverted ocean


glacial




a fire consumes





a vast






void